So . . . So, what? (92)

So, I have become increasingly irritated with radio and TV talking heads starting every sentence with the word ‘so.’  It has become so pervasive in the media that I now find myself saying it constantly without thinking about it.

So, what I did was look up the use of ‘so’ in the Urban Dictionary to see if I could tell when all this horrible misuse of the language started.

Most of us can remember the childish retort we used to use to indicate a state of non-caring, “I’m going to the baseball game.” “So what?”

Evidently that was too long of an expression and was eventually shortened to plain ole, “So?”

Sometimes it is used and echoed by another person, usually when there is nothing at all to really say. “So . . .,” repeated by the other person, “So . . .?”

I recall my Mother sometimes would refer to someone that had done something particularly bad as a, “so and so.”  Perhaps she knew the language was deteriorating and this was her precursor of the decline.

Often repeatedly, and sometimes incessantly, ‘so’ is used by speakers incapable of beginning an idea at its beginning, those seeking to stall for time until a thought congeals, or those desiring a familiar starting point as they venture into the dangerous world of communication. Beginning each sentence with “so” has been called “using a verbal” to enhance one’s chances of hitting an idea squarely or to ‘tee up’ an idea of otherwise small merit. “So, when we got to Sheila’s, I was like, oh my god!” ‘So’ is often paired with ‘like’ to give extra emphasis to a statement.

And then there is the use of ‘so’ as an adverb to enhance a specific idea or action, “I am so going to get that dress!” Or, “We are so going to that movie.”

It is guessed that the overuse of ‘so’ started with TV shows such as Friends, and Will and Grace, or even before those shows, with Valley Girl talk. In other words, not from a place of high intellect. (I admit I liked those shows too, and even now sneak in a viewing of Friends in rerun with some guilty pleasure.) The Urban Dictionary also says the usage was first picked up by teenage girls and gay men. I don’t know about that last part, although the gay community does some times pick up trends before the rest of us.

Which brings me to my particular point of irritation. On Saturdays I have a little extra free time and, while I am doing housework or cooking, I listen to the lighter banter, weekend type, NPR programs. They include many interviews and game shows and questions always come up. For example: “How did you develop that idea?” Answer: “So, I was working in my yard and the idea just came to me.” I will swear that every other sentence on NPR on Saturday afternoons begins with ‘so.’ And, after listening to it for an hour or two, I pick up the pattern. I can’t help myself.

I’ve even thought of putting a jar on the kitchen counter for me to deposit a quarter every time I start a sentence with ‘so,’ similar to the old ‘swear jar’ some of us used to keep handy. I could call it my ‘so and so’ jar to pay a little homage to my Mom. But, for now it is just a thought.

On second thought, the sooner I start, the better.

So, I guess I’ll be dropping by the bank to stock up on quarters.

(FYI ‘SO’ is also used in popular language as an acronym for ‘significant other.’ In the Twitter world, ‘SO’ can mean ‘share on’ or ‘services offered.’)